||[26 Dec 2005|08:33pm]
Ladies and Gentlemen. I have an announcement.
I have days where I am happy with my appearance.
Weight loss is completely worth it. Completely. I weighed myself a little while ago when I really wasn’t happy, and I was about 155lbs. (I’m 5”5’, so this is just on the borderline between healthy and overweight, so it isn’t TERRIBLE, but I’m never happy at this weight.)
I got into a slump and ate lots of food that I really shouldn’t have, and although I was still cycling to school, I cycled really slowly without putting any effort in, so it practically wasn’t exercise anymore, and I gradually stopped doing any of my other exercise. Then I was REALLY unhappy with how I looked, so I decided to change. I went for a jog. I went out in the evening before I had supper, so no one could see me run, (I even crossed over to the other pavement if I saw someone coming, so I wouldn’t have to pass them) and I ran to my local green and ran round it a couple times (the green is only about 5 metres by 15 metres, so this wasn’t difficult at all) and then I ran home. It is so much easier to go for your first run when you know you don’t have to go very far before you turn back, as you then realise “What am I afraid of?” and once you’ve had the first run, the whole idea is a lot less scary. Even if you’re only going to run round your block a few times, or even once, it’s a start, and that’s all your first run needs to be.
It kick-started me as I realised how unfit I’d become, so I started putting effort in again, and watching what I ate. I’m now capable of finishing a meal without eating everything on my plate. Before, I was so convinced that I had to eat everything in front of me. And I’ve learnt how easy it is to tell my parents “No thanks, I’m full” or “I’m saving room for desert” (even if I’m not).
I’ve recently had the confidence to wear skirts again. SKIRTS! Or occasionally a strappy top. And people have been telling me how good I look, and how I’ve lost weight. One person even told me that I shouldn’t lose anymore, but I get the impression that it’s because she’s a few inches shorter and twice my width, and although I love her dearly, I suspect that she says it out of jealously more than concern, as my weight is now perfectly healthy, and I only want to lose much 5 more pounds anyway.
I had my 18th birthday party, and I picked out the perfect dress for it. It’s red, and off the shoulder, with little sleeves that just cover the flabby part of my arm, and it’s tight over my top half, and then gets big and poofy from my hips downwards, and then ends just above my knee. I was terrified of wearing it, but everyone said I looked fantastic. And I must have, as I got a new boyfriend at the party, so I’m pretty sure I didn’t look awful. (wow – there’s optimism for you) I may post a picture. I may be too lazy.
This morning, after Christmas (am I crazy?) I was in my parents’ bathroom, and I saw the scales, and realised that I hadn’t weighed myself in AGES. I decided to just hop on and see what I weighed. I didn’t bother taking off my clothes, or even my SHOES, (they’re pretty flimsy and probably don’t weigh much) and my weight was just under 142lbs. It’s been so long since I’ve been less that 65kg. I KNEW I could feel a difference.
I had yesterday and today off from dieting, because it’s Christmas and I’ve done so well, but tomorrow I’m back on. I don’t want to lose a significant amount, and I’ll definitely stop at 135lbs, I just want slightly less tummy (and hopefully slightly less arm fat. DAMN YOU, ARMFAT!)
Seriously, guys, any tips for losing arm fat? There’s this arm bike at my gym, but it doesn’t feel like much is happening, and it takes about 5 minutes to burn a calorie, and I’m pretty sure that I’d have to lose about half a pound from each arm, which totals 3,600 calories, so it might take a while. Should I just stick with the arm bike or is there a better option?