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[26 Dec 2005|08:33pm]

gasolinegreen
Ladies and Gentlemen. I have an announcement.

I have days where I am happy with my appearance.

Weight loss is completely worth it. Completely. I weighed myself a little while ago when I really wasn’t happy, and I was about 155lbs. (I’m 5”5’, so this is just on the borderline between healthy and overweight, so it isn’t TERRIBLE, but I’m never happy at this weight.)

I got into a slump and ate lots of food that I really shouldn’t have, and although I was still cycling to school, I cycled really slowly without putting any effort in, so it practically wasn’t exercise anymore, and I gradually stopped doing any of my other exercise. Then I was REALLY unhappy with how I looked, so I decided to change. I went for a jog. I went out in the evening before I had supper, so no one could see me run, (I even crossed over to the other pavement if I saw someone coming, so I wouldn’t have to pass them) and I ran to my local green and ran round it a couple times (the green is only about 5 metres by 15 metres, so this wasn’t difficult at all) and then I ran home. It is so much easier to go for your first run when you know you don’t have to go very far before you turn back, as you then realise “What am I afraid of?” and once you’ve had the first run, the whole idea is a lot less scary. Even if you’re only going to run round your block a few times, or even once, it’s a start, and that’s all your first run needs to be.

It kick-started me as I realised how unfit I’d become, so I started putting effort in again, and watching what I ate. I’m now capable of finishing a meal without eating everything on my plate. Before, I was so convinced that I had to eat everything in front of me. And I’ve learnt how easy it is to tell my parents “No thanks, I’m full” or “I’m saving room for desert” (even if I’m not).

I’ve recently had the confidence to wear skirts again. SKIRTS! Or occasionally a strappy top. And people have been telling me how good I look, and how I’ve lost weight. One person even told me that I shouldn’t lose anymore, but I get the impression that it’s because she’s a few inches shorter and twice my width, and although I love her dearly, I suspect that she says it out of jealously more than concern, as my weight is now perfectly healthy, and I only want to lose much 5 more pounds anyway.

I had my 18th birthday party, and I picked out the perfect dress for it. It’s red, and off the shoulder, with little sleeves that just cover the flabby part of my arm, and it’s tight over my top half, and then gets big and poofy from my hips downwards, and then ends just above my knee. I was terrified of wearing it, but everyone said I looked fantastic. And I must have, as I got a new boyfriend at the party, so I’m pretty sure I didn’t look awful. (wow – there’s optimism for you) I may post a picture. I may be too lazy.

This morning, after Christmas (am I crazy?) I was in my parents’ bathroom, and I saw the scales, and realised that I hadn’t weighed myself in AGES. I decided to just hop on and see what I weighed. I didn’t bother taking off my clothes, or even my SHOES, (they’re pretty flimsy and probably don’t weigh much) and my weight was just under 142lbs. It’s been so long since I’ve been less that 65kg. I KNEW I could feel a difference.

I had yesterday and today off from dieting, because it’s Christmas and I’ve done so well, but tomorrow I’m back on. I don’t want to lose a significant amount, and I’ll definitely stop at 135lbs, I just want slightly less tummy (and hopefully slightly less arm fat. DAMN YOU, ARMFAT!)

Seriously, guys, any tips for losing arm fat? There’s this arm bike at my gym, but it doesn’t feel like much is happening, and it takes about 5 minutes to burn a calorie, and I’m pretty sure that I’d have to lose about half a pound from each arm, which totals 3,600 calories, so it might take a while. Should I just stick with the arm bike or is there a better option?


x-Posted
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[21 Oct 2005|08:16am]

gasolinegreen
I was wondering if there was any logic to my theory about weight loss. It isn’t one I’ve read about or heard about or anything, it’s just kind of the way I think about weight loss.

Loads of people say that everybody needs a little fat in their diet, but I have loads of fat right here on my body, and I was wondering if having a no fat diet (if such a thing were possible) would force your body to use the fat it already has quicker.

I sincerely doubt that I’d be happy eating absolutely no fat, as almost everything has a bit. And I’m pretty weak when it comes to chocolate etc.

I haven’t weighed myself in a while, but the jeans that used to not fit me now either almost fit me or can do up, but with those unpleasant bulges around the waistline (so I’m not wearing those out yet) and the jeans that used to fit me with those yucky bulges now fit me almost perfectly. I’m hoping it’s because of me, and not because of the fabric stretching or something.

Harriet.
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[19 Aug 2005|02:01pm]

gasolinegreen
I’m afraid to weigh myself, as I know that my month in France has done terrible, terrible things to me.

Most of my clothes don’t fit comfortably anymore. I have bulges over the top of jeans that used to be a little loose. I can’t wear them around my hips anymore, they only fit over my waist, and they just look stupid there. I was starting to like how I looked before the holiday.

I got my AS results yesterday, and drank a lot. I’m now going to avoid alcohol for a week or two to let my body catch up, and because I’m not used to cycling anymore, so I’ll need to be really healthy to help get my fitness back.

My legs and bottom ache from what I used to call 2 normal days’ worth of cycling. I’m letting them rest today and maybe tomorrow if they still hurt. And, of course, trying to eat lots of protein.

*Sigh * My poor, poor botty.

I HAVE to get a passport photo next time I’m out so I can get that ISIC card and join my gym at a discount. I’ve left it too long already. I may even pop out today and get one, as I’m not doing much.

And I have to stop using the fact that my friends are eating loads as an excuse to eat myself. Either they’re way thinner than me and can get away with it, or they’re way bigger, so I shouldn’t be doing what they do.

Off to make myself lunch: Stir-fry vegetables with a chicken breast.

Harriet
Xxx
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Fat Fat Fat [15 Aug 2005|11:18pm]

gasolinegreen
I’m back from holiday. I went to France for a month, so, of course, I gained weight. I’ll know tomorrow how much I’ve gained. I know it’s enough to make my stomach look noticeably fatter.

I’ve managed to encourage my overweight friend to join the same gym as me so we can go together. She’s in the year above me, and she has left school while I’m in the last year of 6th form, so we’re hoping it’ll keep us in touch.

I missed my bike so much while I was in France. And I got a tan and freckles even though I was wearing factor 60 most days, and a sun hat and shades and I was covered up most of the time. I’m not liking how I look at the moment.

But moving on from my sad, depressing complaints, toward... The Future! (DAM da da DAAAAAM) Back to life in London, where I cycle everywhere, eat sensibly and sort out that gym membership asap.

My AS level results are arriving on Thursday, and I will not be held accountable for calories consumed through alcohol on that day. But apart from that, what I put in my body and what exercise I do is officially My Fault, and no longer the fault of being in France, the land of fine cuisine, without any means of exercise other than swimming lengths. (Dull.) I swam loads of lengths, but swimming just doesn’t feel like proper exercise to me. And it didn’t seem to have the effects that proper exercise should have. My overweight friend, who I was on holiday with, lost weight from the same amount of swimming, but she doesn’t do any exercise at home, so her body wasn’t used to it, whereas I was doing way less than usual.

Anyway, Again, Enough of the complaints. On to the positive. In London, I am limited to the food in my house, and therefore, it’s way easier to diet.

I hope everyone’s doing well. I shall weigh myself tomorrow and hopefully not spiral into a deep, dark circle of depression, angst and Gummi Bears.

Love Harriet
xxx
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[17 Jul 2005|07:57pm]

thinner__me
[ mood | frustrated ]

ACK! ACK! ACK! ACK!

I just got done working out. 20 minutes on the tredmill, five warm up, five at 3.5, five at 3.2 and then five at 3.0. Minimal leg work, because of all of the walking and stairs I just did within the past two days. Some abs, shoulders and arms and back.

Sweated up a storm.

THEN! I got on the scale, 196 with shoes, 194 without. Without shoes just two weeks ago I was 192. I can't believe I gained weight. That's just...gah!

But, I'll weigh myself again tomorrow, because it was like, right after I worked out, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

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X-Posted [13 Jul 2005|04:37pm]

gasolinegreen
I cycled LOADS yesterday. It was my last day of term, so I got up at 7 and cycled the 3 ish miles to school, then at 12 I cycled to the shop where I got my skirt, as I wanted to exchange it (FOR A SMALLER SIZE). When I asked the cashier, I was like “Hello, I’d like to exchange this skirt I bought here the other day for a SMALLER size please.” That was about 4 miles from school, then I cycled to my boyfriend’s house, which is just under 1 mile away from the shop, then home from there, about another 3 miles, almost all up hill. I had to stop and walk up the steepest part, which I can usually do, because I was so tired from the day so far and I’m really sluggish and bloated from my period. Plus the heat really takes it out of me.

The day before, I cycled about 80 minutes worth, so I’m guessing it was about 10 miles, as traffic etc tends to make me go slower than I’d like.

The pill may be responsible for a sudden gain of 5 lbs, as I forgot to take one last month, so I had to take 2 packs in a row, without a gap in between for my period, so I’m hoping that the sudden gain was from added water weight. Does it work like that? I really hope that once my period is over, I’ll stop being all heavy and bloated, as I’m going on holiday on Friday. I’m not going to weigh myself until my period’s stopped.

I was watching America’s next top model (Yes, Yes, I know.) And they all had a weigh in. It was THE most depressing thing I have ever seen in my life. They’re all taller than 5’7’, and the heaviest one was about 130 lb. I DREAM of being 135. And they’re all pretty damn skinny anyway. They were practically gasping when the “heavy” one’s weight was read out.

I really want to be one of those cute skinny skater girls. The ones who wear the clothes that fat people could NEVER get away with. My boyfriend took my into this shop that sells clothes like that, and I was just walking round the shop saying to myself “I’ll buy that when I’m thin... And that...”

One of the thing that bugs me about diet communities is that while I’m sitting here, reading them, I’m not out there exercising. I’m just sitting here being lazy. So the other day, I copied my friends page into a word document and printed it out, and put it in my school bag so I’d be able to read it in a spare moment at school.

I’m going on holiday from Friday for a month. I may be able to sneak into an internet cafe briefly, but I’m not going to rely on it. I’ll print all the posts out before I leave, so I can read them in the car on the way there.

Harriet.
xxx
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[03 Jul 2005|10:45am]

gasolinegreen
I went to a “barn dance” themed party last night. All my skinniest friends wearing their shirts unbuttoned at the top and tied in a knot at the bottom. It reminded me why I’m doing this.

I started at 145 and managed to get down to 143 after a few weeks, but then I had a few weeks without access to a scale, and now I’m at 148, and I can really see the difference from that 5 lb.

The problem is that the scale is in my parents’ en suite bathroom, and when they see me weighing myself they either tell me I shouldn’t be doing it and then worry about my eating habits, or they ask me what I weigh. Neither of these really help to keep my eating healthy, as they turn food into more of an issue than it should be. In fact, I’ve noticed that the more my mum tries to get involved, the more worrying my eating becomes, so I resolved to only weigh myself in the morning, after going to the toilet, before breakfast, when my parents aren’t at home. And this rarely happens. I think I’m gonna need to buy myself some scales, as I always gain large amounts when I’m not weighing myself regularly.

But the real cause for the gain is a combination between my laziness and my new friendship. She’s heavier than me and we’re both trying to lose weight together, but we spend a lot of time together and we’re in that mentality of “She’s eating pizza, so I’m allowed to.” I even pointed this out to her, and we agreed to stop doing it, but that evening we forgot about it and ate loads. We’re going to have to be strict with ourselves. We’re going to have to see salads etc. as a fun food to eat with friends while watching a movie. I’m also going to help get her to get over her apparent fear of any exercise that isn’t swimming, and try to get over my fear of being seen in a swimming costume, so we can exercise together.

I’ve got to get a passport photo so I can get my ISIC card, pronto. I’m doing it through my school, but term ends soon and I really want to be able to go to my gym discount price in the summer. I really have to do this, as my GP thinks my hay fever is turning into asthma, because when I exercise outside, my throat closes up and I find it really hard to breathe. And I hate exercising in our current heat wave. My gym is air conditioned, and has TVs that you can listen to on your headphones. It’s perfect.
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[09 Jun 2005|10:55pm]

brain_strain
[ mood | crappy ]

Sigh.....

The men have disappeared. And in their place, pounds have come.

I truly hope the 1.5 I gained this past week is muscle. I have my one a day weight smarts but they seem to not be working. i've added a 20 minute walk before work to my routine, that is the only thing that really can remain constant right now, seeing as how I barely have time to do anything anymore. Let's just hope that I can keep my eating down and the morale high. I was at 243 this morning, but the bathroom scale is terribly wrong so I will weight myself again in the morning (I only do it once a week but today doesn't count; I want a second opinion.)

My guy friend/crush Jay hasn't called me all week and it makes me crrrrayzeee. He usually calls but I guess he's busy. GRAR. No one to talk to or hang with this weekend. Or at least that I want to.

Let's kick it into high gear. Operation Get FLY is in full effect.

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x-posted [09 Jun 2005|06:19pm]

gasolinegreen
I hate being on study leave. Before it started, I just thought "Yay - no school!" but I feel guilty if I do things I want to do, and if I spend time exercising, because I should be working, but if I don't do the things I want to do, I usually manage to spend a whole day sitting, eating, doing nothing productive.
Have you ever spend a *whole day* eating?

But today I think I did Ok. I could have easily lives without that peanut butter bagel or those three little pieces of chocolate, but there was no big sin today, and the rest of the food I ate was pretty low G.I. (Peanut butter is low GI, but it's also rediculously fatty)

I didn't exercise today, though, but tomorrow I'm doing at least 40, and possibly 80, minutes of cycling, (in 20 minute bursts throughout the day)
And tomorrow is my last day of exams, so after that I'll be free to exercise more.
I went for a 2 hour walk with my bf, and then 40 minutes of cycling, on Tuesday, but have been lazy since.

I haven't had an opportunity to weigh myself since I hit 142.8 lb. (I'm 5'6)
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[06 Jun 2005|08:29pm]
thetasteoflove
age: 32

height:5-6 (ive shrunk 1 .5 inches =/)

HW:286

LW:125

CW:203

Goal weight for when you see your EX:175

ever had your heart broken: yes

when are u planning on seeing your EX:July 27th at our divorce hearing

what do you plan to get out of this community:friends , advice , support

any tips: never give up

something weird about yourself: hmm.. myself lol at least everyone seems to tell me im weird

what do you want to wear when you see your EX:something to make him drool
3 comments|post comment

[04 Jun 2005|08:06am]

93_lbs
[ mood | amused ]

age: 19
height: 5,5
HW:296
LW:147
CW:242
1 stgw -220-
2nd gw -200-
3rd gw -180-
4th gw -160-
Goal weight for when you see your EX: 140
ever had your heart broken: Hahahhaahhaah...yes
when are u planning on seeing your EX: When ever im not this fat
what do you plan to get out of this community: Support, motivation and new lj friends
any tips: The guy i like is in a band and i have a cd of theres they just made so i play it when i work out at home. Keeps me motivated.
something weird about yourself: I write my y's backwards
what do you want to wear when you see your EX: Uhhhhhh...Undecided

Well this is for an ex who was the only guy iv ever let break my heart.
For all the boys who laughed at me because i was fat.
For my ex best friend who never belived in me.
For a guy who is my best friend and has no idea how i feel about him.
And for me...The time has come i stop pretending im ok. Its time to lose weight.
Im hopeing to reach my goal weight by July 22, 2006 this is my 21st brithday.
I think the comunity is going to be fun!!

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[04 Jun 2005|10:30am]

gasolinegreen
I reached 143 on the day that my goal was 143.2, so I've lost 2.2lbs total (I'm 5'6)

I've picked out a swimming costume for my holiday... I hope to be about 135 when I wear it. It's a bikini top with men's swimming trunks, as the skin on my thighs is a little icky. The trunks are a lil small for me atm, so my tummy bulges a bit over the waistband, so my goal is also to look half decent in them. My other is a regular one piece, incase I end up still not feeling comfortable.

I'm going on two holidays, one with my parents and boyfriend, so I'd like to look good for that one because my mum's always having a go at me about my weight, even though she's overweight and I'm not, and the other holiday is with a friend and her parents and little brother, and I really don't feel comfortable around people I don't know in a swimming costume, so I'm hoping that losing weight will make me feel more comfortable, and I may even forget my insecurities. It would be fantastic to *forget* about them for once.

I had a bad eating day a couple days ago, so I'm making up for it yesterday and today and tomorrow.
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New [03 Jun 2005|08:26pm]

curvy_divine
I am going to do a bigger variance on the introduction post, because my reasons are a little different.

Age: 21
Height: 5'8"
HW: 190
CW: 182/4
STGW: 179
STGW2: 164
LTGW: 150

One month ago, I was working as hard as I could to loose weight not only for myself, but to impress my boyfriend whom I would be visiting on an Army base one month later.

Three weeks ago, I found out that said boyfriend was cheating on me with a 17 year old. Or cheating on her with me, they've been a couple since Octoboer. He feels no remorse or shame for this, nor even offers and apology. I however, have suprisingly healed a lot faster than I thought, because though this came as a complete shock (no warning signs), my self esteem is high enough that he did not ruin my life.

My diet since then has not fallen apart. Though however, tonight I'm trying to make sure I do better than I have been, before old patterns form in again because I'm at the weight I've been at for a long time too...my gain back/quick loss stopping point I'd like to call it. Since I loathe it so.

Ending Date: July 30th.

On August 22nd, my final semester of college starts. On November 11th, I have my senior recital (vocal music major). I will be purchasing the dress for this event between July 30th and August 22nd. I will also not be seeing my family until July 30th either, and I would like to shock them. I would like to be at a stable weight at this point, as low as possible (STGW2). This is where my BMI reaches normal. This summer, I am pretty much on hiatus from seeing anyone I'd recgonize, so I would like to return in the fall FINALLY having lost the weight that has been plaguing me since at least highschool (I'm not really sure where it started to apply, I've always felt huge, but pictures say otherwise).

I currently don't care very much about dating. I am more than fine and plan on being single (I said this last year and dated more than I have total in recent years...) until I graduate in December and move states. I would like to be this low weight when I approach my new life, and leave it with all the petty drama and baggage here to start a new life as an adult.

This post has been to primarily assert myself and remind myself of the big picture.
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[03 Jun 2005|06:51pm]

gasolinegreen
Hi, I'm Harriet.
age: 17
height: 5'6'
HW: 157 lb.
LW: 139 lb.
CW: 143 lb.
Goal weight: 130 lb.
ever had your heart broken: Lots and Lots
when are u planning on seeing your EX: I bump into them all the time
what do you plan to get out of this community: Motivation, support, an exchange of advice and a chance to complain about men
any tips: As well as keeping yourself hydrated, warm water with some lemon juice squeezed into it really helps. Not sure why.
something weird about yourself: I'm a bit silly. And a fake brunette. I feel we are a dying species.

I lost about a stone while dating a guy who was underweight, could do nothing to gain weight, cracked fat jokes about me and poked my stomach in public even though he knew it made me uncomfortable, back when I was having serious teenage girl weight issues, and him doing that gave me a panic attack. And he didn't say anything about how I looked the first time I wore clothes that showed off how much weight I'd lost. And he was a generally rude, mean, pathetic boyfriend who I saw 8 times in the four months we were seeing each other. And he was REALLY surprised when I broke up with him.

Why do women let themselves get so wound up about men who don't matter?

I also have about 4 other exes I bump into regularly and I just don't feel comfortable around them, because I can feel them thinking "Glad I got out of that relationship, she's so disgusting..." etc.

And like someone else mentioned, I used to be friends with this girl who was the same height and weight as me. She said she wanted to diet with me, but what she meant was that she'd try to stop me exercising so she'd feel less guilty about being so lazy. Result: I lost a stone and she gained weight. Now we aren't friends for a different reason, but that bitter, ego-centric part of me still wants to get thin just to spite her.

And I have a current boyfriend, who I want to look good for.

Of course, I mainly want to lose weight for ME. If I was happy with my body, I wouldn't care what everyone else thought.

Now I'm just hoping I don't sound too bitter and nasty.

Harriet
xxx
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[02 Jun 2005|01:50pm]

212_wish_120
hey join to get all the good stuff!
some things are open for the public but other things will be put for friends only so why are u still reading this!!? come join!
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